


The Dating Habits Of Batfish

by Calamityjim



Series: Liminal Spaces [9]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Red Robin (Comics), Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Tim Drake, Fluff, Human Disaster Tim Drake, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:54:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23353531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calamityjim/pseuds/Calamityjim
Summary: Tim and Conner spend some time together.
Relationships: Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent
Series: Liminal Spaces [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1414078
Comments: 81
Kudos: 1618





	The Dating Habits Of Batfish

**Author's Note:**

> The world sucks so here is some fluff. There is a fic I haven't written between this and Compression.

Tim had a dilemma. He had a problem to which he had insufficient data to solve on his own but asking for external input was useless if not damaging. He needed answers but, more than that, he needed to ensure that no one knew he was having this dilemma. He’d tried googling ‘hot people’ and that had just brought up photos of Jason Mamoa, Chris Hemsworth, and the like. Tall, broad muscular men with arms as thick as Tim’s skull. 

He’d bitten his lip and cautiously added the word ‘twink’ to his google search, hoping to get something more along his body type. 

All that came up was porn. Lots and lots of porn. 

“Yup. Nope. That’s enough of that,” Tim said as he slammed his laptop shut. The internet had failed him.

Worse, he had no one he could ask for help. Most people had this understanding of what hot was. Like, Tim understood that Conner was, by all human standards, hot. And he could kinda guess which girls were deemed societal attractive based on media or a friend’s knowledge. This had meant when anyone asked Tim who he found hot he could just say Wondergirl and have his answer accepted without question.

But he didn’t get it on a fundamental level, so how did he emulate it? How could Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne be hot? Normally he’d just ask for help and disguise his ignorance as nervousness but.

No one was to know about him and Conner and their...whatever. Date? Was this a date? Was this a pre-date? Were pre-dates even a thing? Okay, their whatever. No one could find out because there would be assumptions and teasing and pressure that he just couldn’t deal with right now, not when everything was so new. 

Okay, so him and Conner. Just hanging out. Being bros. But gay bros. Wait, Conner was bi. Queer bros? Quos? 

Stop avoiding the problem.

Tim took in a deep breath and let it out. Okay, so he had no way of evaluating if what he was wearing made him look ‘hot’. He couldn’t even ask social media. Being super famous it would make him look shallow and reflect poorly on the Wayne family. Plus THE WAYNE FAMILY WOULD FIND OUT.

This was so stressful! Stupid societel definitions of attraction. 

Tim missed Tam. Tam would know. 

Tim closed his eyes, drawing on all the memories of the women he’d ever dated. Steph and Cassie had both spent an uncomfortable amount of time staring at his ass while he wore skinny jeans. So skinny jeans. There we go. He had a bottom. 

Now for a top. His go-to would be a hoodie but Zoanne had always hated when he wore them and Tam had always preferred him in a button up. Now that he thought about it, Cassie had liked him in a collar too, but it felt a little formal with the skinny jeans. Maybe a t-shirt with a coat that had a collar? He’d heard Steph swoon when Jason had worn his body armor with that leather jacket, so it couldn’t be a bad combination. And it was chilly outside. It was winter. Of course he’d have to wear a coat. 

Now hair. That, at least, was easy. Everyone thought that parted with a little mess was cute. Cute was something good. He could do cute. 

Okay. That would work. Maybe. For now. 

Life had been so much easier when he’d had other people to help him pick his clothes. 

A set of mottled white and blue skinny jeans, a red shirt and a heavy black coat later, Tim still didn’t feel at all prepared but that had never stopped him when the fate of the world was on the line, so he could do this. It was only a date. 

Or a not date. 

A whatever.

Grabbing his camera, he opened the door to his room only to find Dami standing right there, making Tim jump. How long had the boy been standing there?

“Timothy,” Dami said with his usual formality, “Father, Todd, Cassandra, and Grayson are spending the day at the Gotham Botanical Gardens before dedicating the bench to the late Mrs. Higgens.” Tim was aware of this and, while he’d been willing to attend, had been told in no uncertain circumstances that he was _not_ allowed to attend any full day functions until Bruce decided Tim could do so. Tim didn’t understand Bruce’s motivation, but given that Dinah had suddenly started asking about the adult expectations of his behaviour in public, he had a feeling that there was something specific bothering the man. Maybe it was the fake drinking of the champagne?

Whatever it was, it gave Tim a day off where he would not be interrupted that he and Conner could hang out and do...things. Involving stuff. 

“I am aware that you are not attending and have bargained with Father that as long as you are willing to babysit,” Dami’s nose wrinkled at the word, “me, then I shall not have to attend either. Given this I have planned out several activities that we can do today until Father returns.”

“Ah, Dami…”  
  


“Sparring is first on the list, and I wish to use Father’s pool. Todd has insisted that I learn a game called Poker and while I do believe that he is correct, I do not trust him to train me correctly-”

“-Dami,” Tim tried to interrupt. 

“Pennyworth has also agreed to provide basic meal instructions for lunch, simple enough that you could prepare the dish.”  
  
“Dami,” Tim said firmly, “I have plans.”

Dami blinked up at Tim, green eyes uncomprehending. “You have plans?”

“Yes,” Tim gave a decisive nod. 

“For us?” Dami confirmed. 

Tim shook his head. “No. Not today, Dami.”

Dami took a step back and looked at Tim with the seem intensity that Cass did. He dragged his vision up from Tim’s jeans, past his shirt, to his hair before letting out a long hiss. “The Clone,” the boy spat the nickname. 

“You really shouldn’t call Conner that,” Tim said with a sigh. He still didn’t know why Dami seemed to have a very specific hate-on for Conner. While he was never exactly pleased with Tim hanging out with Bart he didn’t respond with the same visceral hatred that he did when Conner was involved. “And yes, we have plans. You could probably talk Alfred into agreeing to watch you if you really don’t want to go to the bench dedication.”

“While you are left to wander along with the Clone. Unsupervised.”

Dami was the son of Batman, raised by evil ninjas, and had been kidnapped and taken to an alternate universe not that long ago. Him being a little paranoid was to be expected. “Conner has super strength and I’ve been trained by some of the greatest warriors in the world. Bruce has put a tracker in my shoes, my wristwatch, my wallet and my cellphone.” Tim was fairly certain the only reason there wasn’t one in his thigh was that Bruce didn’t have an excuse to get close enough with a needle. “We’ll be fine.”

“And when the Clone turns on you?” Dami snarled. “When he acts like a beast?”

What the hell? “I have Kryptonite.” Had someone scarred Dami with the story of Clone Roy Harper? Tim was certain they hadn’t met so it couldn’t be an issue of direct contact. Weird. He’d need to talk to Bruce about Dami’s growing prejudice. It could be an issue if left unchecked. 

Dami scoffed and internally Tim shrugged. “Sorry, Dami. You’ll either have to try Alfred or accept that you are going with Bruce.” 

Dami narrowed his eyes at Tim. “He will rue the day he crossed me,” Dami muttered darkly before stomping off. If it wasn’t for the fact that Tim knew Dami tended to follow through with his threats it would have been kinda cute.

As it stood he was going to have to warn Conner about the kid. 

Again. 

He walked down the stairs where Bruce stood, fixing Jay’s tie. Jay’s head was turned to the side, his eyes averted from Bruce’s face even as a light blush dusted across his nose. Bruce had the slightest of smiles as his hands steadily twisted the material. There was something fragile about the moment that had Tim looking at them through his viewfinder and snapping a few quick shots, catching the moment where Bruce tucked Jay’s tie down against his chest and they both smiled at each other.

A father and his son. 

“Ah, Tim!” Bruce called when he noticed Tim at the top of the stairs. “Did Dami talk to you?”

“Yeah,” Tim said. “I can’t watch him today. I’m dragging Conner around on a hunt for good shots.” He lifted up his camera as proof. “Dami also seems to have something against clones? I have no idea where it is coming from but you might want to talk to him about that.”  
  


Bruce’s brow wrinkled. “I’ll follow up on that. Right now we need to get Dami ready so we aren’t late.”

Jay saluted. “Reporting for Gremlin wrangling duty, sir!”

Bruce gave Jay a grave nod. “You know what to do.”  
  
“Sir, yes, sir!” Jay gave a cheeky grin and darted up the stairs just as Dick slid down the railing. 

“Where’s Jay going?” Dick asked as his brother turned a corner.

“Dami’s coming with us.” 

Dick’s eyes widened and then he let out an eerie cackle. With an easy grace he backflipped, landing on the first step before twisting to follow Jay. 

Bruce gave an exasperated sigh but couldn’t hide the edges of a smile. “I have a feeling we’re going to end up in the papers again.”

Tim patted Bruce’s shoulder in comfort. A loud squawk echoed through the house and Tim stepped off to the side. “And that’s my cue. I’ll be home later tonight.”  
  
“And?”  
  
Tim rolled his eyes. “And I’ll call if I need anything.”  
  
“And?” Bruce’s voice was sharper this time. 

Tim sighed. “No heroics. Really, Bruce. It will be fine.”

Bruce just raised his eyebrow at Tim. Tim raised his right back. “Seriously, I’ll be fine. I’ll see you tonight.” He gave a wave before making his way to the garage. 

The trip to the zeta beam was uneventful and Tim bypassed the Mountain and connected straight to Metropolis. He stepped out of the portal to find Conner already there, arms crossed and leaned up against what was probably a brick wall, though it was hard to tell under all the graffiti. 

“Hey,” Tim walked up to Conner, feeling a goofy smile spread across his face. 

“Hey,” Conner echoed, his eyes roaming over Tim before he let out a half snort. 

Tim frowned, looking down at his outfit. “What?” He didn’t think he’d done a bad job. Was it awful? Had he screwed up?

Conner dropped his arms to pull open his black bomber jacket, revealing his red shirt. “We match.”

They did. Their shirts were nearly the same shade. 

Tim frowned. “According to what I know from teen movies, I think this means that one of use needs to go home to change.”

Conner let out a real laugh this time. “I think we’ll be just fine.” He grabbed Tim’s hand, entwining their fingers. “Is this okay? Me touching you like this?”

“Yeah,” Tim could practically feel himself glowing. “Yeah, that’s perfect.”

They stood like that for a minute, just smiling goofily, before Conner waggled his eyebrows. “You promised to show me around Metropolis.”

“That I did.” Tim thrust his freehand up, pointing it at an angle towards the sky. “Onward we go!” Tim knew that Conner was allowing him to drag Conner down the sidewalk, and Conner’s chuckles were warmer than a cup of coffee on a cold winter’s morning. The steady heat of Conner’s fingers in his, the perfect amount of pressure, was a delight he’d never known he’d missed. He’d never held hands with any of his exes and right now he had no idea why not. 

This was amazing. 

It wasn’t far for them to catch a bus. One of the nicest things about Metropolis was the bus system. They ran on time and, for a public service, they were remarkably clean. Tim knew if he reached underneath his seat he’d find chewing gum, but he also could tell that he wasn’t going to sit in a mystery liquid. The driver gave a pleasant smile and the other patrons were quiet. The few on the bus were looking out the window. Tim wondered how many of them were looking for Superman?

They slid into a pair of seats, Kon closest to the window, and settled in for the ride, their hands still clasped. The bus chugged along and they sat there, in silence. 

Which was stupid because Tim liked to talk to Conner. Why couldn’t he think of anything to say right now? Come on, brain. Think! 

“Howswolf?” Tim blurted. Conner turned, looking quizzical, and Tim swallowed and tried again. “How’s Wolf?”

“I’ve warned La’gaan a hundred times that Wolf doesn’t like him,” Conner said dryly and Tim knew this story was either going to be awesome or terrible, “and every time he blows me off.” Okay, so terrible so far. “He’s started treating the Mountain like he owns the place, hogging the gym equipment, not letting other people have turns on the training simulators and leaving his stuff everywhere. I’m not sure how to handle it because it was never a problem on the original Team.” Conner growled with frustration before blowing out a breath. 

“Anyway, he’s gotten in the habit of leaving his door open.”

“Oh no.” Oh yes! Drama that Tim was not actually involved in. The best kind. “What did Wolf do?”

Conner shook his head. “A better question would be what didn’t Wolf do? He tore up everything he could and pissed on everything else. Everyone living in the Mountain was pretty upset, but on the plus side everyone has been keeping their stuff in their own rooms.”

“And Wolf?” Tim prodded. 

“Is pretty damn pleased with himself.” He gave Tim a dark grin. “And seems to like the newest batch of treats I picked up for him.” Tim laughed. He wasn’t super fond of La’gaan either and therefore couldn’t dredge up any feelings of sympathy. Tim was probably a bad person. “How’s Cat?”

Tim scowled. “His name is _not_ Cat!” he scolded. He tried to glare at Conner directly, which was awkward given the bus seats but Tim was nothing if not determined, and caught the smirk in the other boy’s eye. “You dork. My cat is doing fine but Dami!” Tim flopped dramatically against Conner’s side. “Dami is driving me nuts. He's basically stalking Dexter, to pet him or brush him or something, but Dexter hates people so he keeps running. It’s this endless cycle that is going to end in bloodshed.” 

Tim realized that he was still leaning against Conner. “Is this okay?” he asked tentatively. He didn’t want Conner to say no. Despite the way Tim’s knees were digging into the seat in front he was amazingly comfortable. 

Conner shifted, adjusting the pressure so that he was exerting some back. “It’s great.”

They spent the rest of the bus ride in easy conversation, sliding from the shenanigans of the people in their lives to comparing taste in music. Tim was surprised to learn that Kon and Conner had nearly no lapping tastes. Kon preferred hard beats, scratchy instruments, and screamed lyrics while Conner liked everything but. Most of his music repertoire was either pop, including boyband, or classical overwhich he felt no shame over liking. He didn’t know a lot about punk so Tim queued up a few songs on his phone, giving Kon one headphone while he listened in the other until it came to their stop. 

From there it was only three more blocks until they reached their destination. 

Conner stood, shoulder to shoulder with Tim, taking in the building. “It’s an aquarium,” he stated flatly. 

“Yeah,” Tim shuffled his feet. “You’ve never been, right?” Because that would be bad. From what Tim had been able to pry from Dick, M’gann and Conner’s relationship had been a series of rom com clichés, so arranging a first date- a first not date?- had been tricky. Tim didn’t want to do _anything_ that reminded Conner of his time with M’gann. No one really knew why they’d broken up, but the mention of her name always brought about a scowl. 

So yeah. No reminders of M’gann. 

Tim could feel his heart shrinking into a withered ball as Conner seemed to struggle internally. Tim had done something wrong. He’d screwed this up and he didn’t even know how. Stupid! 

“No. I haven’t.” He gave Tim’s hand a squeeze, his face oddly blank.

Tim had definitely fucked up. “Oh. Well. If you don’t want to go we can do something else…” and do what? Think brain. Think! 

Conner shook his head and gave Tim a weak smile. “No, let’s try it.” His hand let go of Tim’s as he walked in the doors. 

Tim watched him for a moment before jogging to catch up. Conner was pulling out his wallet but Tim beat him to it, slapping down a credit card. “I got this.” Conner seemed surprised and Tim rolled his eyes. “I have no doubt that my allowance is higher than yours.”

Conner stared at Tim and for a moment Tim thought he was going to be challenged over this, but Conner gave a slight nod and tucked his wallet back in his pocket. Satisfied, Tim tapped his card and held out his hand to be stamped. As he walked over to the entryway he noticed that Conner was still stiff, hesitant, and staring at the door with trepidation. 

“We can leave,” Tim pitched his voice low, trying to keep his tone reassuring. What had he done wrong? How could he fix this?

Conner only responded by squaring his shoulders. He walked past Tim, eyes fixed on the door, and pushed them open. 

The room was cavernous, with a high ceiling and low light. The walls were textured, imitating umber stone that was flecked with copper and all throughout the room, tanks varying in size stood, casting rippling blue light across the dim room, making the tanks themselves glow. 

“Wow,” Conner said in an exhaled breath his usually stoic facade was painted with wonder. 

“This is okay?” Tim asked, biting his lip nervously.

Conner gave a small nod. “This is amazing. I didn’t think it would look like this. I thought…” Conner trailed off. 

And wow was Tim an idiot.

Cadmus. Conner had literally come out of a tank, associated them with trauma. No wonder an aquarium would make him nervous. 

“I’m sorry,” Tim said. “I wasn’t thinking. If this is going to make you uncomfortable we can leave. I should have been more sensitive.”

Conner reached over and took Tim’s hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “I’m glad we’re here. This place is beautiful.” He pulled Tim farther into the room. “Where do we start?”

They started with the tortoises which were tucked right by the door. One of the little guys was wading through the water while the others rested on their little beaches. The movement of Conner leaning close to the tank caused the largest of the bunch to duck into his shell. Tim caught Conner’s astonishment with the snap of his camera. 

“I’m naming that one Turtle,” Conner said decisively. 

Tim raised his eyebrow. “He’s a tortoise, you goof. And he has a name.” Tim pointed at the plaque by the tanking, describing the breed. “His name is Speedy.”

“Hmm,” Tim said before he snapped a photo of the plaque. He was a Cherry Head Tortoise, his shell and head splotched with the obvious color . “I bet they named him after Kid Flash.”

Conner chuckled. “I think you’re right. He’s going to hate that.”

“You know,” Tim said thoughtfully, “this _is_ Metropolis.”

“Hmm?” Conner turned away from the tortoise to look at Tim.

“And Metropolis _is_ a bit obsessed with Superheroes.” He waggled his eyebrows. 

“What are you thinking?” Conner had a wicked gleam in his eye.  
  
Tim smirked. “I have access to the Justice League photo database.” 

“Are you fishing for trouble?”  
  
Tim squacked. “Did you just make a pun? While we are scheming?”

Conner grabbed Tim’s hand, using it to pull Tim close. “I am half evil. Puns while scheming. Monologuing. Seducing the enemy.”

Tim could feel heat rising in his face. “Am I the enemy?” He tried to sound flirty despite having no idea what flirty sounded like. He also knew that his voice had risen too high to be seductive, but Conner didn’t seem to mind. 

He pulled Tim even closer. “You are definitely the enemy and unless you have a clever plan to escape, I am going to kiss you.”  
  
Okay. Tim felt a little dizzy as his blood buzzed in his veins even as some of his nerves settled. This was _definitely_ a date. 

“Tim?” Conner asked, his voice tinged with concern. “Do you need me to back off?”

Tim shook his head. “Nope.” His voice sounded breathy even to his own ears. “I definitely can’t escape. You’re going to have to do your worst.”

Conner leaned in for a gentle kiss. 

Since realizing he definitely was more attracted to men than women, Tim had thought that being gay had been the problem in all his other relationships and that what he read about would occur when he finally tried it with a guy. He thought he’d get the curling feeling in his gut, the rush of blood to obvious places, but Tim had been ignoring the fact that he wasn’t even properly gay. 

It was… weird. There was no hormone spike, no obvious physiological symptoms. The kiss was just warm pressure, dry skin against dry skin. 

Conner pulled back, his cheeks red and his eyes blown, but a look at Tim washed away whatever high he’d had. “You didn’t like it.”

“No, it was fine!” Tim protested. 

“Don’t lie.” Despite the sharpness of the words themselves, Conner’s tone was gentle. “It’s okay. We don’t have to do that again.” He could hear the undercurrent of disappointment that Conner was trying to hide.

Tim’s shoulders slumped. “It wasn’t bad. I was just expecting more. I was hoping that maybe I wasn’t so…” weird. Flawed? Damaged?

“Tim,” Conner put his hand on both of Tim’s shoulders and leaned down so he was eye level. “There is nothing wrong with you.”  
  
Tim snorted. “There is a lot wrong with me.”

“Okay,” Conner conceded. “You have your issues. This isn’t one of them.” He slid a hand down Tim’s arm until he captured Tim’s hand again. “Let’s go find us some Justice fish.” 

They made their way through the aquarium, stopping at each tank. Tim had never wished for a third arm as desperately as he did now, as he couldn’t hold Conner’s hand while snapping photos of the boy, of catching the rippling light played across his skin and the way the blue glow of the room highlighted his eyes. 

He took some of the fish, of the decorations in the tanks and of the room itself, playing with lighting, color, and composition. He was careful to take two of each of those for every one he took of Conner so he could bury the evidence of today’s true purpose under the sheer volume of photographs. 

Conner eventually found a solution, using his greater height to sling and arm around Tim’s shoulder so Tim’s had the ability to react whenever the perfect picture presented itself. 

“Oh my!”

They both turned, instinctively splitting apart, as the voice of a woman split the room. Tim had thought they were alone. He’d picked this time of day so they would be alone. 

The woman was staring at them, holding her hands against her chest. She was elderly, dressed in a floral blouse and back blue dress pants. Tim braced himself for the vitriol that they’d been risking all day, carrying on the way they had been. 

“You two!” She started, “are absolutely precious!” Tim looked up, catching her expression. Instead of a storm of rage and disgust, she looked like she wanted to pinch their cheeks. “Young love is just the most beautiful thing! I keep telling my grandson to bring his young man home, but he keeps using school as an excuse.” She sighed wistfully and shook her head. “Is that a camera?”

Tim looked down at his camera. His stereotypical, very obviously a camera DSLR. “Yes?” He answered, not sure what she was expecting.

“Has anyone taken a photo of you two together?”

Once again Tim could feel heat creep across his face as blood rushed to his cheeks, unable to say anything, but Conner was not nearly as tongue tied. “No. We don’t have any photos of just us.”

“Well we simply must change that!”

And that was how Tim found himself in a photoshoot in the middle of an aquarium. Ms. Tomlin (oh don’t be so formal, call me Lily) was a retired art teacher who volunteered at the aquarium to stave off boredom. Though a camera wasn’t her typical tool, she knew about lighting and posing and had no trouble bossing them around. She laughed and, between poses, told them stories of her grandson, Arnold, who had been raised by her since he turned sixteen and trivia about all the fish in each tank. 

She also helped them find all of their Superfish, and Tim was actually delighted to discover that there was a Batfish. He made sure to snap several photos of the Atlantic Black Sea Hare, catching it as the best angle to make it seem like it was wearing a cape.

She escorted them all the way to the gift shop before ruffling their hair, giving them ten percent off of their souvenirs, and telling them about a café that was the neighborhood’s best kept secret. 

Standing at the exit, holding bags of swag, Tim and Conner turned to each other sharing equally bewildered expressions. “Did that just happen?” Conner asked, seemingly flabbergasted. 

“I think,” Tim said carefully, “that we were just shipped by a retiree.”

They looked at each other and both broke down laughing. “My god,” Tim gasped for breath, “that has got to be the weirdest date I’ve ever been on.”

“Yeah?” Conner asked, practically glowing. Tim had never seen him so happy. “I think it’s been my best.”

Tim couldn’t have stopped the smile that spread across his face if his life depended on it. “It’s not over yet. A local told me about this great café a few blocks over.”

“Oh?” Conner asked with a teasing grin, leaning in close, “where did you hear that?”

Tim took a moment to study Conner’s face before making a decision. He leaned forward, pressing his lips against Conner. 

It was still weird and vaguely uncomfortable, but when he pulled back Conner’s beaming expression made it perfect. 

Best. Date. Ever.

  
  



End file.
